CMV, Genetic Tests, Acupuncture, Prenatal Vitamins, Clomide, IUI, HSG, SAT… Oh My! 

Who knew there was so much to consider and do when trying to conceive. My question, “What would have happened if I just went to a bar, had a one-night stand and got knocked up??”  

I know more about my potential baby daddy than I do any other man I have ever slept with. Initially at least. 

No, this doesn’t mean I’m a slut but rather it would have been weird to say, “Ummmm, excuse me, while you take your clothes off can you tell me your:

  • Grade point average
  • Genetic test results
  • CMV – positive or negative (who has ever even heard of this one !?!)
  • SAT scores
  • Mom and dad’s height/ weight
  • What historical event you would have liked to witness
  • Personality assessment

Oh, and, by any chance do you have your baby photo in your back pocket?  Three photos preferably. 

I’m grateful to have all of these things about donor 14127, but it is also WEIRD and overwhelming. 

People ask, “Why this donor?”  I guess it is just a feeling I have. Hard to explain. Unless you have been in this position it might be hard to understand. After looking at what seems like thousands of  profiles again and again I kept coming back to “him” – donor 14127. He is an “anonymous” donor, which means he wishes to not be contacted in the future. This brings up some questions in my mind:

  • Is it fair to select an anonymous donor?
  • Will my child be upset that they cannot find this individual in the future? 

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but the reality is that most donors choose to remain anonymous. 

Another topic that I should probably cover is my frozen eggs. Will I be using these right now or not?  I have decided to save those eggs for another day and undergo an IUI instead. What is IUI? 

  • Intrauterine insemination (IUI) involves a lab to separate fast moving sperm from sluggish or non-moving sperm
  • The fast moving sperm are then placed into the woman’s womb close to the time of ovulation when the egg is released from the ovary in the middle of the monthly cycle



Going with the IUI route I am able to save my eggs for later. Perhaps I will meet someone someday and we can have a baby together. Or, maybe in a few years I will want a 2nd child and I’ll have “old” eggs so I’ll need my frozen eggs. Who knew that someone in their late 30’s could have old eggs :). Basically, this just gives me more options in the future. 

With all these decisions made the countdown begins. 1 month until we (me, dr., donor 14127 and God) make a baby…



Photo credit: Fol Greetings 

Photo credit: Sisu Hospital 

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen” – Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Making the decision to become a parent is a huge deal. I know I’m stating the obvious, but when it is upon you to actually make, it seems so much larger than life and even myself.

How can little ol’ me be a Mommy AND a Daddy? How will I explain to a little human where their Daddy is?  This haunts me a bit, but like everything else I guess I will figure it out and come up with a satisfactory answer… “Insert answer.”  

After exploring adoption in Nevada and really thinking about this as an option, I have decided to instead have a baby via donor and artificial insemination. Wow, I actually am doing this! Holy shit!  Exciting and scary as hell!

It is said that when a decision is made and one takes control, they feel relieved. This has actually been somewhat true for me. 

I don’t know if this is because, in my mind, I am now free from the desire to meet a man at this moment? I have come to a place where the thought of being vulnerable one more time is too scary for me. I prefer to put this energy and effort toward starting my family.  I pray and really, really want to believe that I will one day again open my heart to love. 

The things that flood my mind are:

  • What will my child draw when they draw a picture of their family? (Mommy and…imaginary Daddy?)
  • How will I answer the question of, “What can you tell me about my Daddy?” 
  • What will I respond when asked, “Where is my Daddy?”
  • What is bigger – nurture or nature?
  • Who will come to every Dr. appointment with me? (I currently live 3.000 miles from my Mom)
  • Who will talk to my belly other than me?
  • Who will come to parent teacher conferences with me?
  • Who will tell me that even though my body is changing, it is still beautiful?

The list goes on and on. BUT, despite all of this, I am still moving forward and doing it. I will take each day as a blessing and do my best to remember that I made the right choice. 



Photo credit: Jennifer Salem